Trying To Gear Up...

Only 46 days until Christmas 2010. Un-be-liev-a-ble. This year has to be a part of some kind of rift in the space-time continuum. Where did the year go? Where has my life gone?

Well, other than contemplating my mortality, I've been spending some time trying to gear myself up for the holiday season. For some reason, I just can't seem to get into the groove. Not sure if it's because I'm working again this year and keep reflecting back on how nice it was to be home last holiday season doing what I so love to do...decorating, baking, preparing. Or if it's because I'm not feeling the best physically and really can't wait until my insurance takes effect next month so I can get to a doctor. Or if I'm basically an honest-to-goodness Scrooge this year and wish I could just sleep through the entire thing. Who knows.

Either way, it's coming whether I like it or not. How do I act as if I'm the jolliest of jolly for my daughter's sake? How do I make it happy for her when I'm absolutely miserable?

I wish I could talk to Mom... :(