Dear Idiot,
I realize traffic was heavy this morning, you were obviously late for work, and it's a Wednesday, but I feel I need to let you in on a few secrets about our commute this morning...
1. I cannot go any faster than the car in front of me. I have no control over the fact that the moron is reading the morning paper, dialing his cellphone, and having his morning coffee while trying to maintain a speed of 45 MPH.
2. If the moron spills coffee on the slacks he was just ironing and stops suddenly, I'm braking. If a squirrel, a child, or Scott Bakula runs out onto the road in front of me, I'm braking. If God Almighty decides to send down a lightning bolt opening a chasm 50 ft wide in front of me to make me appreciate the fact that I'm alive today, I'm braking.
You're a 40-year old suburban businessman. What makes you think you have the reflexes to stop your vehicle in any of the above scenarios in time to prevent plowing my trunk into my dashboard? Are you wearing your super hero boxers today?
3. We are both going to arrive at the next stoplight at the same time. You're not getting through the red light until I do. Accept that.
Oh, and I'm sorry about the brake check right before I turned off. Hope the knot on your head doesn't hurt too badly. :)
Sincerely,
License Plate #RLX 8834
(Which you could read if you'd BACK OFF!)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
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5 comments:
Oh man I hate it when people ride my bumper ! I have eased my foot over on the brake a few tmes to make my brake light come on and that really makes them back off sometimes. And sometimes when hubby and I are out for a drive in the country and some idiot is riding our tail, hubby just pulls off and lets them go by.
People drive like real idiots, I thought it was just us.
Oh Shirl all I can say is lol lol lol lol lol!! This totally made my day and ditto to all those morons who tailgate! Sincerely, Jeannette
LOL! Way to go, Shirl. I hate tailgators! I spelled it that way on purpose. I'm a native New Yorker, but I live in Florida -- where everyone thinks they're running the Daytona 500 and practice "drafting" on a regular basis.
LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't have said it better myself!!
Right on girlfriend!!!!!!!! I love this letter and doesn't it feel good to share?
Lisa & Alfie
P.S. Those last minute brake checks are critical.
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